Training Wheels

There are a lot of things in life that I keep kicking down the road. For instance, did you know we have two dining room tables? Our friends got a new one and gave us their old one. Now our old one is in the garage. It needs sold. I’m thinking if someone offered us fifty bucks they could have it, along with the four chairs. With Facebook Marketplace and about ten minutes of my life, that table could probably be gone by the end of the day.

I could be wrong, but I feel like that seems to be the case for many of us. What is it that you have kicked down the road and avoided lately? What do you have in your life that would be out of your hair with just a little bit of effort, and yet it still lingers on? It doesn’t have to be a thing. Maybe it’s a job that needs done around the house. It could be something that needs more money than you have or more time than you are available for.

As you probably know (either because you read what I write or because you know me), I am a high school math teacher. My school is 52 miles away from my house, and although gas is cheap right now our bank account is thankful that I am not driving in. Normally I would have tennis 5-6 days per week as a coach during this time as well. Without that time on the road and on the courts, I found at least one can to stop kicking.

Last weekend, I took the training wheels off my daughter’s bike. (Well, it’s actually her older brother’s bike but he has graduated to a bigger and better one.) The training wheels were rickety and old and I felt like they were slowing her down more than keeping her safe. Now there is, of course, one big problem with this: when you take training wheels off, you no longer have the ability to kick the can down the road. You have to teach your daughter to ride without training wheels. There is no choice, because the other option is her not riding her bike at all.

Knowing this (and being on whatever you want to call our spring break), we went out a few times. I held her handlebars the first time to guide her, and she did pretty well. The next time, I held her coat collar because it was cold out and it actually did a pretty good job of giving her just enough balance. The third time, I don’t even remember what I was holding but you could tell she was close. By about the fourth time out, she did it! It was one of those dad memories you don’t forget. I still have video of when my son did it, and now I have video of my daughter.

I can’t help but wonder what May or June would look like if not for the coronavirus. Would I have taken the time to ride with my daughter, or would I have been worn out from a tennis practice? Would she still be going for rides with those old creaky training wheels? I think about my son and how he got off the training wheels fairly late comparatively. Did I set him back because I was too busy?

I could play the “what if” game all day, so I think it is more valuable just to tell it like it is. My daughter is riding her bike and gets to enjoy her “social distancing.” That stupid table is getting sold tomorrow because I don’t have tennis every day. My son is getting really good at throwing a frisbee and he can catch one better than ever. In light of all the uncertainty in the world, at least there’s that.

I have let a lot of things go, and some of those things I can’t have back. Still, using this time to pout about it doesn’t make anyone happier and it doesn’t make me a better person. It doesn’t get my daughter off her training wheels and it doesn’t help anyone else either.

When we wrapped up our evening today, another man and his son were riding bike around our neighborhood. He told me that his son had just learned to ride without training wheels and that at least something good can come out of being at home. If there’s one thing I’ve noticed about all these walks and time in our community, it’s that we might just be more alike than we are different.